Floating Fish
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Need a speech or poem? Contact us at
Don's retiring, this would be a lovely gift.
I can't keep buying Nana chocolates...
I want something they can keep...
I want to write something funny.

Terms of Sale, Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy

Thanks for visiting Floating Fish. We'll do all we can to ensure you have an enjoyable experience, and that you are completely happy with your personal writing
Now for the legal bit...
1. Introduction
These terms and conditions apply to the use of this website, floatingfish.co.uk .By visiting floatingfish.co.uk or by placing an order, you confirm that you have read these terms and conditions and agree to adhere to them in their entirety. If you do not agree to these terms and conditions, you must not use this Website. We may update or vary our terms and conditions from time to time, so please check this page for the latest version whenever you visit floatingfish.co.uk. We can also update and vary the terms and conditions by notice on other pages of this Website.
2. Trading details
Whenever you buy a product through this Website, you will be contracting with Floatingfish.co.uk,trading through TM Consulting Ltd a limited liability company incorporated in England and Wales under company number 4515583 Registered office: Email address: contact@floatingfish.co.uk
3. Ordering from us
3.1. Product description
We use our reasonable endeavours to make sure that every product on floatingfish.co.uk is shown accurately and that prices are correct. Floating fish disclaims all representations that the content or information on this Website is accurate, complete, up to date or does not infringe the rights of any third party.
3.2. Placing your order
When you place an order with us (by choosing an item and completing our online payment process), we will send you an acknowledgement by email. This will detail the products you have ordered. Please note that your completion of the online checkout process constitutes our acceptance of your order. A 'purchase contract' between you and Floatingfish.co.uk is therefore made at the point of payment. If we notify you that we cannot accept your order, then no purchase contract will have been made. We reserve the right to cancel your order at any time and issue a full refund. This does not affect your statutory rights.
3.3. Payment
At Floatingfish.co.uk, you can pay for your goods securely using your Paypal account.
4. Prices
4.1. Prices and sales tax
All prices shown on the website include sales tax at the prevailing rate if applicable.
4.2. Postage and packaging charges
All Floating Fish products are sent free of charge via email using Microsoft Word (catering for different versions of the program to avoid compatibility issues). Poems will be emailed in brown 'ink' using a suitable font.
5. Delivery
We know just how important it is that your personal writing arrives on time for that special occasion. Floatingfish.co.uk will send your product within five working days (Monday to Friday inclusive, excluding bank holidays). If you choose Express delivery (at an extra charge) we will send your product within twenty-four hours regardless of weekends or bank holidays).
6. Changing or cancelling an order
If you wish to change an order, use the 'Contact Us' facility. Floating Fish will make only one alteration to a piece of delivered writing.
7. Returns and refunds
At Floatingfish.co.uk, we always strive to make a perfect piece of writing for you, based upon the exact information which you supply. Because of this, refunds for products are under extenuating circumstances only, and need to be deemed so by Floating Fish executives. If you are unhappy with a product, use the 'Contact Us' feature to explain your grievance. All grievances will be considered carefully. Grievances relating to length of document due to the customer not providing enough information at the point of ordering, will not be considered for a refund. It is very important therefore, that you include as much information as possible when filling out the order form. Emails are answered daily in the order they are received. You should receive a reply to your email within twenty-four hours. If you are eligible for a refund, we will reimburse the price you have paid for the product(s) onto your account. Alternatively, we may offer to reprint (if applicable) and resend the item free of charge. Please note it is not our policy to offer both a refund and a resend. Multiple refund requests If there are persistent claims for refunds from the same individual or group of individuals, we reserve the right not to issue a refund or replace an order. We may refuse to take any future orders from any such customers and will inform them of our decision in writing, via email or over the telephone.
8. Your privacy and security
Floatingfish.co.uk is committed to protecting your privacy. We promise to use the information that we collect about you in accordance with the Data Protection Act 1998.
8.1. How we use your contact information
The personal information you provide to us will include your contact details, payment card details and information about any recipients of products that you wish us to deliver products to. Floatingfish will not sell or disclose any personal data to any third party unless required to do so by law.
8.2. Opt out
When you email at contact@floatingfish.co.uk, you can decide to opt out of receiving any communications from us, other than that required to process your registration or orders. At any point, you can change this preference in your account details but please allow three working days for your opt out to be processed. If you opt in for email reminders, you can also decide to opt out at any point and they will stop.
8.3. Cookies
In order to improve the service offered to you, we may use a 'cookie'. A 'cookie' is a small data file which is placed on your computer or other device by this Website and which collects certain data about your activity on the Website. The primary purpose of this use of cookies is to ensure the process of personalising product is user-friendly and consistent throughout a session. You may change your website browser settings to reject cookies, although please note that if you do this it may impair the functionality of this Website. For further information about cookies, including how to refuse cookies, please visit www.allaboutcookies.org.
9. Use of the Website
9.1. Abuse of service
You agree not to use Floatingfish.co.uk directly or indirectly for any unlawful purpose, or to cause distress or offence to any person. You also agree not to upload, email to us or print any images or other copyrighted material without the express permission of the owner.
9.2. Intellectual Property
All text, graphics, video, page layouts, design and other material that is contained on the Website is protected by Floatingfish.co.uk's or third party copyrights, trade marks, service marks, patents or other proprietary rights and laws. You do not have permission, except where expressly authorised to do so, to change, copy, store, publish, rent, licence, sell or distribute in any way any of these intellectual property rights. "Floatingfish" is our trademark, and you agree not to display or use it in any manner without our prior written consent.
9.3. Website content and service access
We will always try to ensure that Floatingfish.co.uk is available 24 hours a day. However, we will not be liable if for any reason the Website is unavailable at any time, or for any period.
9.4. Links
Occasionally, we may provide links to other websites or resources for your convenience. We do not endorse the contents of those websites and are not responsible for their availability or service. We will not be liable in any way for any loss or damage which you may suffer by using those websites. If you decide to access linked third party websites you do so at your own risk.
9.5. Liability
We exclude all representations, warranties, conditions and terms (whether express or implied) to the fullest extent permitted by law. We, any other party (whether or not involved in creating, producing, maintaining or delivering this Website), and any of our group companies and the officers, directors, employees, shareholders or agents of any of them, exclude all liability and responsibility for any amount or kind of loss or damage that may result to you or a third party (including without limitation, any direct, indirect, punitive or consequential loss or damages, or any loss of income, profits, goodwill, data, contracts, use of money, or loss or damages arising from or connected in any way to business interruption, and whether in tort (including without limitation negligence), contract or otherwise) in connection with your use of this Website in any way or in connection with the use, inability to use or the results of use of this Website, any websites linked to this Website or the material on such websites, including but not limited to loss or damage due to viruses that may infect your computer equipment, software, data or other property on account of your access to, use of, or browsing this Website or your downloading of any material from this Website or any websites linked to this Website. Nothing in these terms and conditions shall exclude or limit our liability for (i) death or personal injury caused by negligence (ii) fraud (iii) misrepresentation as to a fundamental matter or (iv) any liability which cannot be excluded or limited under applicable law. If your use of material on this Website results in the need for servicing, repair or correction of equipment, software or data, you assume all costs thereof. You agree to indemnify us fully, defend and hold us, and our officers, directors, employees and agents, harmless from and against all claims, liability, damages, losses, costs (including reasonable legal fees) arising out of any breach of the terms and conditions by you, or your use of this Website, or the use by any other person using your registration details.
10. General
These terms and conditions constitute the entire agreement in respect of the use of this Website and the items and services offered via this Website. If any of these terms and conditions is found to be invalid this shall not affect the validity of the remaining provisions which shall remain fully enforceable. No waiver by us of any term shall be deemed to be continuing or shall be deemed to be a waiver of any other term. Only you and Floatingfish shall be entitled to enforce these terms and conditions. No third party shall be entitled to enforce any of these terms and conditions whether by virtue of the Contracts (Rights of Third Parties) Act 1999 or otherwise. These terms and conditions will be interpreted and construed in accordance with the laws of England and Wales and will be subject to the exclusive jurisdiction of the English Courts.
  • "At first, I thought Floating Fish was expensive, but I was desperate for a unique gift. I used the 'Fast Track' service, and got my poem the following day. It was superb. I fully recommend this service (especially if you are on the last minute)."
    K Williamson, Doncaster