Fancy a Panto? (Oh yes you do!)

Ladies and Gentlemen…

A brand new product is now available from Floating Fish. Deliciously dark and unique, our special pantomimes are hilarious and (more importantly) have been tried and tested. Here’s a taster…

Snow White and The Seven Dwarves


Narrator:    There is an old and ancient tale –

A story which can never fail,

To bring joy and sorrow, tears and laughter,

And the greatest ‘happily ever after’.

This isn’t that tale, but you may spot,

Some similarities that this one’s got,

To the other, more established story,

(But this one isn’t quite as boring)

Good verses Evil – but who will win?

If you’re sitting comfortably, then I’ll begin…


There lived, Once upon a time,

A princess who’d just reached her prime,

With pure white skin and ebony hair,

And some would say a royal air…



SW:                  Oh I am so nice and kind and pretty,

And clean and tidy, fun and witty,

All in all, I’m quite a catch,

But I haven’t found my royal match,

There is an evil queen you see…

(who isn’t quite as nice as me).


Narrator:     That much was true, for poor Snow White,

There was a problem in her plight

The dark and callous evil queen,

Looked just like her (but twice as mean)


She had a lovely looking glass,

(A mirror to you and me),

Each day she’d look in it and ask,


Queen:          Who’s the most beautiful you see?


Narrator:         Normally the mirror would reply,


Mirror:              Well my queen, I can’t deny,

You are the fairest of them all,

You’d be the Belle of any ball.


Narrator:         But one such day a change occurred,

Mirror:             There is a more attractive bird

Narrator:         (Although the truth it would reflect,

It wasn’t politically correct).


Queen:               Another? Another?

Narrator:         The queen did squawk,

Queen:              Who is this other of which you talk?

Mirror:              I didn’t wish to cause a fright,

But you’ve been pipped by Snowy White!



Queen:          That skinny runt! That Pale-skinned Freak!

I’m nicer than her in any week!

I’m not being an ‘also ran’!

It’s time to hatch an evil plan.


(Queen exits stage laughing demonically)


What do you think? If you fancy buying a pre-written panto, get in touch click here. Presently, we have Snow White, Cinderella,  Aladin, The Wizard of Oz, Jack and the Beanstalk and Beauty and The Beast. If you would prefer something bespoke, we can do that as well.

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