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Funerals

Funeral Speeches, Funeral Poems and Funeral Messages

If you've clicked onto this page, you've got a very difficult day ahead of you.

You may want to speak at the funeral, you may have been asked to. The thought of standing in front of a group of people and talking about the loss of a loved one will probably fill you with dread. You are probably still grieving - not thinking straight, or breaking down without warning.

At Floating Fish, we understand your grief. We can't offer you any emotional support, we can't bring your loved one back. We don't want to patronise you. What we can do, is to help you organise your thoughts and words. With your help, we can help people to remember the great times you've all shared with this special person.

Obviously, respect is the key word here, but we can also tailor the tone of the writing to suit your exact needs.
Take a look at our order form. If you choose to use Floating Fish, we will help you to create a fitting tribute on this sad occasion, and give you one less thing to worry about.

Prices:
Funeral Speech, Poem or Message: £69.99
Express Delivery(additional cost): £29.99

All speeches, poems and messages are completed within 5 working days unless you paid the additional cost of express delivery where delivery will be in 24 hours from the time you purchased it. All speeches, messages and poems will be delivered via email you provide. For further info please goto terms

Order Funeral Speech, Poem or Message

A Typical Example of Celebration of Life

Ladies and Gentlemen, Albert Jenkins - my dad, is no longer with us... Except that Dad will always be with me, and I'm sure he'll be with most of you here today.

He'll be with you when you notice the price of fuel for your car - you will hear him rant and moan as usual. You'll hear him bark on about youth crime every time it's mentioned on the news, and you'll hear him tell you how David Cameron should never have gone anywhere near Nick Clegg - Maggie Thatcher never would have entertained the idea...

You too will have probably inherited or adopted some of Dad. I got his laugh, his fondness of red wine and his dodgy knees. Susan, my lovely sister, got his loving personality, his enormous sense of humour and his terrible taste in music. My three sons, Michael, Josh and Ben, got his ambition, his resilience and his interest in the fairer sex.

Dad led a long and full life. For many years, I felt that he was immortal. He would shake off illness and injury without a second thought, worked ridiculously hard, yet always had time for his family. He was generous and warm, and far cleverer than he'd let on to most people. A ferocious chess player, a decent squash player - the oldest in his league by about thirty years, and a rubbish gardener. He was pretty much adored and respected by everyone who was lucky enough to cross paths with him, you just need to take a quick look around this room, the corridor and the car park for proof.

Always one for surprises, the biggest one was him going to bed on Thursday night, and not waking up. I bet he was having a good dream too.

So my dear friends, please don't be sad that Albert's gone - he hasn't really. You know that we're not a big religious family, and I'm not going to pretend to be now, but if you carry on with your lives with a little bit of him living inside you, the world will be a much better, brighter place.

Thank-you so much for being here today, and please, think fondly, not sadly about Dad - appreciate that he was part of your life.
  • "My Best Man's speech was awesome! No-one could believe that it came from some-one who had never met Mark. People are still talking about it months later!"
    Steve, New South Wales
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  • "I asked Floating Fish to help me with my wedding speech. Our guests genuinely laughed, then cried. Top writing!"
    K Adamander, Formby
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