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This could seriously save my relationship.
I want to write something funny.
This has to be sensitive - I need help.
A framed personal poem would be perfect!


Birthday Messages, Birthday Poems and Birthday Speeches

Jumpers? cds? A bottle? Buying for birthdays is really difficult. Often, we resort to the standard 'safe' gifts which are okay, but instantly forgettable. Show how much you care with a personal poem which will last forever. We can write funny, sincere, sloppy, cheeky, serious, flippant - anything in fact. Don't fancy giving a poem? What about a story with them as the main character? A song to go with a well-known tune that you can sing to them at a special event? If you can imagine it, we can write it. All you need to do is make sure you give us enough information - the more detail you provide, the better the end result. Take a look at our order form - fill it with as much information as you can, and we'll create something really special.

Birthday Speech, Poem or Message: £69.99
Express Delivery(additional cost): £29.99

All speeches, poems and messages are completed within 5 working days unless you paid the additional cost of express delivery, where delivery will be in 24 hours from the time you purchased it. All speeches, messages and poems will be delivered via email you provide. For further info please go to terms

Order Birthday Speech, Poem or Message

A Typical Example of Ange Keebles (40)

In 1971, her adventure had started,
And, as from her mother’s womb she darted,
She embraced her new life and nothing could phase her,
Not Elton or Sabbath or Clay verses Frasier.

Move on a few years, and the young Susie Peebles,
Was sat in her bath-tub playing with Weebles,
Or watching the telly – all small and engrossed,
In Basil’s huge brush or perhaps Renta-Ghost.

Before you could say Dix-on of Dock Green,
She’d survived puberty, and was leaving her teens,
She offered the key to her chastity lock,
Fell head over heels and bought a white frock.
(Probably the best purchase she ever did make,
‘Cause it lasted much longer than her wedding cake,
She wore it with pride at her divorce celebration,
Every pantomime since, and has it booked for cremation)

We look at Suze now – in-to her fifth Decade,
More likely to burn-out than gradually fade,
Pints, shots and spirits are her favourite drugs,
Then throws them all back into large plastic jugs.

There’s the writhing on poles, for all folk to see,
(Normal behaviour for ‘The Litten Tree’)
Or Delirious dancing, and vodka-jelly tubes
And a wardrobe malfunction – revealing her boobs.

Now she’s got herself sorted – always ready to leave,
To travel to Turkey and a sunbathing Steve,
But she isn’t quite past it – if the whole truth be told,
There’s always just time for “One for the road”.
  • "I was really pleased with my purchase. A very professional service, thank-you."
    A. Charlton, Warminster
  • "I recommend Floating Fish to everyone who needs a special gift. Amazing service!"
    S Watkinson, Derby